When we decide to form a family, we can more or less predict the kind of family we will have with the person we plan to marry. In that family, one or more children are often part of the picture. Often, the importance of raising children in a healthy manner is one of the driving forces that leads us to share our lives with someone.

When things do not go as planned from the beginning, the question of the children naturally arises. What will happen to my child?

• How much will they be affected by this situation?
• Will I harm them in any way?
• Although they are not the cause of this situation, they will suffer the most…

Such possibilities and questions frequently come to mind.

Although there may be different reasons for entering into a marriage, ultimately, if divorce occurs, the issue of the child becomes the most fundamental concern.

It would be inaccurate to say that the process is always managed wrongly. In many cases, parents who have received professional support and are well-informed about the process manage it more effectively. Perhaps they know what should be done to prevent the divorce from having harmful effects on the child.

However, it is important to clarify the concept of divorce at this point. The purpose of this article is to emphasize the critical turning points in a child's mental health during a divorce, supported by scientific evidence.

Effects of Divorce on Children

Emotional and Psychological Outcomes

When children are exposed to family conflicts and parental separation, they may exhibit various emotional and behavioral responses. Psychological literature shows that divorce increases the risk of stress, anxiety, depressive moods, and behavioral problems in children. For example, a meta-analysis by Amato and Keith (1991) revealed that children raised in divorced families tend to experience more psychological problems on average. The key point is that these effects vary depending on factors such as the level of conflict at home, the attitudes of the parents, and the available support systems.

Conflict and Family Dynamics

A child's quality of life depends more on the intensity and duration of conflicts between the parents than on the divorce itself. Researchers like Kelly (2000) have noted that high levels of parental conflict can lead to long-term emotional and behavioral issues in children. Therefore, to minimize the negative effects of divorce on children, it is essential that the process be managed as constructively and conflict-free as possible.

Parental Relationships and Communication

Open and Age-Appropriate Information Sharing

Research indicates that it is inevitable for children to learn about the divorce process. Experts such as Wallerstein and Blakeslee (1989) argue that helping children understand the reasons for the divorce and how the process will unfold—according to their developmental level—can be beneficial in the long term. For young children, simple and clear explanations should be provided, whereas older children and adolescents should receive more detailed and transparent information. It is important that the child does not receive information in a way that makes them feel guilty or forces them to take sides.

Neutral and Supportive Approach

During the divorce process, it is essential that children maintain a healthy relationship with both parents. Parents should avoid using emotionally charged expressions or blaming each other in front of the child and should not project their negative feelings onto the child. Studies have shown that positive co-parenting strategies serve as an important protective factor in a child’s emotional adaptation.

Strategic Approaches and Management Recommendations

To reduce the adverse effects of divorce on children, parents and professional support services can implement the following key strategies:

1. Age-Appropriate Communication:
   • For Young Children: Explain in simple, understandable terms that a divorce is taking place and that it means a change between the parents.
   • For School-Aged Children and Adolescents: Detail the reasons behind the divorce, explain how the process will proceed, and outline available options for emotional support.
2. Neutrality and Respect:
   • When discussing the reasons for the divorce, parents should avoid criticizing each other in front of the child and refrain from assigning blame.
   • Both parents should maintain a supportive and understanding attitude to help the child develop healthy relationships with both.
3. Professional Support and Guidance:
   • Family therapy, consultations with child psychology experts, or counseling services can contribute to managing the process more constructively and knowledgeably.
   • Research indicates that families receiving professional support tend to see a healthier adaptation process in their children during divorce.
4. Emotional Expression and Empathy:
   • Create safe spaces for children to express their emotions. Listen to their feelings of anxiety, anger, or sadness and show understanding.
   • When discussing these matters with the child, parents should express empathy to help lessen the child’s emotional burden.
5. Maintaining Daily Routines:
   • Even during the divorce process, preserving the child’s daily routines and social environment fosters a sense of stability.
   • Consistent routines help children cope with the uncertainty that a divorce can create.

Conclusion in the Light of Scientific Evidence

Current scientific studies reveal that while divorce can have direct harmful effects on children, the way in which the process is managed is equally important. Maintaining open communication within the family, resolving conflicts constructively, and seeking professional support all contribute to helping children adapt healthily to the divorce process.

It is important to remember that every child and every family dynamic is unique. Therefore, the strategies implemented during a divorce should be flexible and tailored to the specific characteristics of the family and the individual needs of the child.

In conclusion, although divorce is undoubtedly challenging for children, when it is managed properly using methods based on scientific evidence, children can develop their adaptability skills and ultimately emerge as emotionally healthy individuals.